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Journal

Embodied Rituals for Skin + Soul

My War of Art

Katie Gordon

colorsWhen I was young, aside from wanting to be an herbalist and "good witch", I also wanted to be an artist.  My 4th grade class took a field trip one day to an artist's studio and from that day forward I decided that when I grew up I needed to have my own creative "workshop" where I could make art AND potions. As I got older, my ego voice showed up in my head to tell me there was no way I could make a living as an artist.  There were only a select few who could support themselves making art of any kind and I'd probably have to go to art school if I wanted to be any good.  Who was I to think I could spend time and money on something like that??  I should just go to college and major in something useful (BTW, I majored in medieval history).

Fast forward to present day...

In a moment of clarity a couple weeks ago, I had a vision of what I want my life to look like and it dawned on me that I need to be making art.  I feel most grounded, at peace, and in my flow when I'm in my right brain, watching as colors and lines take shape on paper, writing poetry, or even fumbling through chords on a guitar.  My ego wants me to be good at everything before even trying it.  That voice doesn't give me the space to play, experiment, try and fail and try again.  It doesn't allow me to be a beginner, to mess up.

So I've created a new practice for myself.  Every other day I schedule time in my calendar for creating.  I give myself permission to play.  It can be music, painting, poetry, drawing, writing, making vision boards, etc., fully acknowledging that it may not look or sound good at first and that's part of my process.  I'm allowing myself the space to fail.  During this time I can set aside my ego and give myself over to my inner guide, listening to what my HEART wants to be doing right now in this moment.

It's just been a few days but here's what I've noticed so far:

  • I feel more grounded in the moment AND in my body
  • My self-critical ego voice has quieted down
  • In other aspects of my life I'm gentler with myself
  • I approach other tasks with more creativity and mindfulness
  • I actually get more done!!

SO - here is my call to action for you...

Schedule creativity time for yourself.  Write it in your calendar and commit to this practice.  Start with just an hour a week and then gradually give yourself more time.  Give yourself space to mess up.  Notice what starts to shift in other areas of your life.  I hear so many people say they're not creative, but it's because we don't generally give ourselves the time and space to tap into our inner creativity, our own intuitive, artistic brain.  Stop thinking and start doing.  Give your heart a chance to speak to you and really listen to what he or she needs from you today.  Let this be an experiment to just play with your time and let yourself have fun doing it!  I'd love to hear your feedback, ideas, and experiences with this, so please leave comments below or visit my FB page!

So much love to you all! ~ Katie