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Journal

Embodied Rituals for Skin + Soul

Shadow work + embodying the Feminine

Katie Gordon

shadow work I don't know about y'all, but 2013 kicked my ass.  As I mentioned here, it was a hear of lots of shedding.  A couple weeks ago I began looking back at this last year, thinking about where I was at this time a year ago, what I had wanted to accomplish, where I thought I'd be by now.  My first reaction was to be hard on myself, to judge, to step back into the "not enough" mindset.  I briefly got caught up in the pushing, forcing, and do-ing masculine energy of trying to make things happen, believing that I needed to make up that lost time before the end of 2013.  And then I realized this year has been an IMMENSELY deep dive into everything I thought I was, every role I've played, the joys, the traumas, all the layers of "shoulds" and "have-to's".  I had to clear all of that before I could begin walking the path I knew I was meant for.

ouroborus2

Here's my crystalized lesson of 2013...

Every time I thought I had gotten to the essence of my soul, there was a whole new layer to work through, explore, and let go of.  A big theme for me this year was that of TRUST.  Mainly trusting myself.  Believing that I have all the knowledge I need to create the business, the life, and the relationships that I want for myself right now.  All I have to do is get out of my own way.  And the same goes for all of us.  So often we allow our shadow side, our own darkness, to keep us from being and doing what we really desire.  There's some part of our ego that says we don't deserve to have that life.  Or that we haven't worked hard enough or done enough.

This year I not only met my shadow side, but I sat, played, danced and fought with, and finally loved my shadow.  She had always been lurking off to the side and I had done a pretty good job of ignoring her.  Now I invited her out front and center, looked her square in the eye, and said "Okay, whatever's here, whatever lessons you have for me, I'm ready to face with compassion and an open heart."  And here's what I learned: Shadow work is INTENSE!  (Side note: it's going to be a major part of my upcoming group program)  It requires crazy amounts of courage and strength that I didn't know I had until now.  I got to finally learn what it meant to approach this inner work in a feminine, receptive, compassionate, and supportive strength.  And then I realized something huge...this is what I'm meant to teach other women.  So many of us have forgotten how to use our intuition, how to trust ourselves, how to ask for what we want, how to be gentle even as we're moving mountains.  We don't remember how to go inside, connect with our wildness and tap into that age-old wisdom that has been passed down through generations of mothers to their daughters in order to heal ourselves.  We don't realize that each of us have every answer inside of our soul.  We have insanely wise inner guides, angels, whatever you want to call them.  It's a process of relearning how to listen, how to trust, and align our actions with that inner wisdom.

I'm so grateful for the teachers and the time I had in 2013 who showed me, often against my own resistance, that the only way I could teach women how to honor themselves was by doing the deep work with my own wild soul, by acting from my intuition, and by embodying the sensual, earthy, and receptive feminine.  Don't get me wrong, there's always more work to do, more to learn, more to uncover and love about ourselves.  And I believe in cycles, in the ebb and flow, so now it's time to put this into practice.  To build the container that will allow me to bring this wisdom to my community of wild and graceful women in the form of lots of free content, group programs, and intensive one-on-one coaching.  I can't wait to better serve all of you now that I'm fully serving myself.  Happiest of new years to all of you...