My feet are covered in grass, my jeans are wet, I keep pulling leaves out of my hair, and my hands smell like damp earth and burnt sage. And I'm ecstatic. I've just been dancing under the full moon. I have my full moon ritual that I do every month, but this time my soul called me outside, and so I listened, performing my simple ritual at the base of a pine tree under the Moon's soft light. I sat with her, listening to her and to my own heart. Listening to any special whisperings she may have for me this cycle. I heard, "I'm finally here, I'm fully in my body, and I'm saying yes. And I'm going to keep saying yes. Keep feeling, Keep showing up."
And then I danced, wildly, spinning in circles with bare feet under the Moon until I fell into the dew-soaked grass. I laughed like I haven't laughed since I was 7 years old, so fully connected with Younger Self, blissfully aware of my spirit's light.
On my walk home I can feel my own ecstatic energy pulsing through my body, radiating out so many feet beyond my physical boundaries. No wonder I kept all this power, this energy, locked inside me for so long. Its intensity is overwhelming but beautiful. And since I was young I would get images of ages past, of ancient full moons, stone circles, primeval forests where I would visit with the faeries and spirits, but I had no idea where these flashes of seemingly random impressions came from. As something settled deep within my belly last night I realized, these are past lives, journeys my soul has already been on, places I've been to with my soul brothers and sisters.
Ritual, connection with our Younger Self, creating sacred space, setting new intentions, releasing old patterns, continuing to show up for ourselves. This is the only way to wake up, to deal with our pain, to get through it all. Iyanla Vanzant writes, "Until you heal the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex; But eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories and make peace with them." The role of ritual, of magic, of sacred space is to hold and guide us through this process of pulling out the "core of the pain" so that we know can honor this process, honor the old version of ourselves that we must release in order to welcome the new.