Have you ever noticed what it feels like to completely ignore your body's wisdom?
Some of us feel that disconnect in our emotional body. For others, that disconnection is manifested in their physical body as tension, pain, and injury. Often we forget we even have bodies. Many of us go through our lives as if we're simply talking heads, floating in space with no feet to touch the earth. This isn't to say that ALL tension, pain, and injury is a result of either not listening or ignoring our bodies' inherent wisdom, but for many people, it's definitely a contributing factor.
I got really good at ignoring my body. Here's a little back story...
For awhile after finishing up my first yoga teacher training, massage school, and beginning my journey with Visionary Craniosacral Work, in the process of trying to figure out how to actually make a living doing my sacred work, I thought I needed to be some kind of "coach" in order to help people AND make money.
I thought all my hours of training, practice, and experience had to somehow fit in and under the title of "[insert descriptor] Coach." I spent so much energy trying to figure out how to define myself and my work in a way that was approachable and made people want to say, "Yes!" to working with me.
Along the way, I worked with some business coaches who advised me to play on people's fears, pain points, and insecurities. Yuck! Even thinking back on it NOW it feels icky. I couldn't do it. It felt gross, inauthentic, and completely missed the point of what I was trying to create.
Not only was there the ick factor in trying to market myself inauthentically, but the whole time I was trying to force this role, this construct on myself, my body was rebelling. Weird digestive issues, tension in my belly, odd recurring injuries. I even kept losing my voice!
Finally, I gave myself permission to let go.
To surrender what I thought I should be doing and how it should look.
And it was a huge relief! It's exhausting pretending, isn't it?
It takes so much energy. I had done so much healing for myself, but there was a crucial piece I hadn't dug into yet: this idea that my work had to fit someone else's idea of being worthwhile or something people would pay for.
So, instead of doing all the time, I started listening. Without even knowing what to listen for. I had to trust whatever it was that wanted to come through me. Just like I do when I teach group yoga classes. Trusting the words to come out, and that the students will receive what they need from the class.
I stopped trying to "figure it out." I trusted that what wanted to be born from my unique combination of skills, gifts, study, and experience would make its way earthside. I trusted that I'd find the words to talk about it. That I didn't need to play off people's pain and insecurities.
Instead, I'd trust my words to speak to the ones I could serve and be of benefit to. Trusting my words meant trusting my body (just like I teach others to do), as well as...
+ Beginning to notice when and where I was holding and letting that tension be an indicator of where I was trying to "make something happen."
+ Acknowledging that I didn't actually want to be a "coach," and I didn't have to be in order to be of service.
+ Believing that my gifts of holding space, of seeing energy, and of inviting people back to their bodies are worthwhile and even necessary.
+ Knowing that the healing people experience through these sessions I guide them through is and would continue to be profound.
One of the best things about these Embodiment Sessions? They're done virtually!
Some people wonder if virtual sessions can offer the same benefit as my in-person, hands-on sessions. They ask if this work can be as potent if we're not physically together.
I'd say, in some ways, they can be even more powerful. I used to leave therapy or healing sessions feeling light and somehow changed. But once I got back into my own space, my home, my ordinary reality, it felt like the magic faded.
But when you're already in your space, the magic is more easily integrated into your reality. You come out feeling rooted, at home in your body and in your extra-ordinary reality.
If you want to learn more about these Embodiment sessions, a blend of therapeutic yoga, guided journey, subtle-body healing, and visionary work, come visit me over here.